It is so quiet.

            My house hasn't been this quiet in years.  Is eerie.  Spooky.  Unnatural, even.

            It is a fabulous transition from the chaos that was yesterday, with seventy-five people crammed into our humble abode.  Well, seventy-five people not including wait-staff, band members, or pony wranglers.  A mad house of epic proportions, enough that this morning I would have been less than surprised to wake up and find that my hair had gone all white. 

            Yesterday was insane.  Just insane.  There are not enough prescription medications available in the universe as a whole to help me numb the vivid pictures of the day.  From the moment the caterers arrived in their freshly pressed dress pants and crisp white shirts, to the moment the two ponies were unloaded from their trailers and ushered into our backyard, all the way to when my eyes collapsed upon themselves as I lay unable to move in bed, and all the moments in between, I am haunted.  Catherine zipped around like a WASP on Ritalin, and Derek and I sat by, powerless as our home was transformed into the party to end all six year olds parties.  Abby and Oliver were tickled to the core to see all the craziness unfold before them.  "Mommy!  Do you see the stage they built in the back yard?!  Do you see it!"  And "Mommy what is a crab cake?  Is it cake that has claws!?" were questions thrown my way for the bulk of the morning. 

            I SOS'd Gwen after the official party planning was underway, told her I was this close to heaving myself off a tall building, hoping to land on a fleet of bicycles with their seats removed.  I am not sure if it was because she wanted to support her friend who was nearing the end of her wits under the constant Mother In Law Siege, or if it was because she didn't want to miss a chance to rubberneck the car crash that was guaranteed to occur, but Gwenny hopped on a plane and was knocking at my front door with a freakish jolliness early Saturday morning.  They guise was that she was there to celebrate her favorite faux niece's birthday, that is what was offered to Catherine when the sour puss face took over once she saw Gwen.  Guess she hadn't forgiven Gwen for her drunken rendition of "Baby Got Back" at our wedding that ended with a loudly applauded, albeit accidental, impromptu striptease when the tie on her halter dress slipped open and she flashed the whole reception.  I thought the whole thing was pretty hilarious, but that's me        the party started at three.  People were arriving on the dot, and were treated to valet parking.  Yes.  Valet.  Parking on the street or in our front yard would have been unseemly, I am told.  Plus we needed the room in the yard for the caricaturist.  I was periodically sneaking glugs off a bottle of wine I had stashed up in our bathroom.  Poor Derek just sort of hovered in the background of the whole day and when he would introduce his mother, it always had an apologetic tone, that I was getting a kick out of.  His words said, "I'd like you to meet my mother, Catherine."  His tone was saying, "This is the woman responsible.  This is the woman who has turned this part of our quiet little block into a bourgeois circus.  This is the woman that is driving me to drink.  Now please, try the canapés."

            It was total madness.  Children and parents running about, staring oddly, munching expensive food, muttering under their breath how much the whole fiasco must have cost.    It was embarrassing, all the rest of us understood that, not Catherine.  She was vehement that the party go off without a hitch, with unparalleled perfection, because let's face it, isn't that what ALL kids parties are known for.  Half the parents that were there I had only seen once or twice.  I would find out later that she had contacted the school to get a class roster and that is where Catherine procured her invite list.  She had also taken it upon herself to invite all of Abby's soccer camp, which would have been perfectly acceptable until the moment, when I was standing in the back yard, chicken kabob in hand, that I realized exactly what inviting the whole team meant.

            I thought I was hallucinating my worst nightmare when I saw Patrick's silhouette making its way through the crowd.  I blinked rapidly, I shook my hair violently, I started praying to whatever higher power might have been listening to me at that moment, but to no avail.  I almost shit a sofa when the silhouette became an actual Patrick, who was making his way through my very own backyard, greeting parents, high-fiving children.  The same backyard where I, my children, my best friend, my husband, and his evil mother, and seventy-five of our closest acquaintances were gathered.  He looked stunning in his cargo pants and light blue button up oxford shirt.  The stunning-ness is forever offset by the fact that he is an evil, evil man, intent on marriage destruction and hot sex.  Wait, that doesn't sound like a good one to put in the bad column...

            He made his way through the masses, passing cordial hello's to other party goers and made his way to set a modestly wrapped box on the present table that was growing at an unfathomable rate, a mountain so large that I wonder if Abby were to open one gift a minute, would she finish before her senior prom?  Presents were the least of my worries when Patrick made his way towards me.  His face was calm, and to anyone else looking, would have merely been the look of a man dropping in to be polite, but I saw, hiding right behind his eyes, that he knew damn well what he was doing there. 

            "Hello, Ellie."  He had smiled.

            "What are you doing here?"  I whispered, almost so low that I couldn't hear myself. 

            "I believe I was invited."

            Gwen, who had been in the kitchen rummaging through the cabinets to find alcohol, had saw the situation as it was unfolding and hauled her ass out at warp speed.  Within seconds she was standing right in front of Patrick, blocking him ever so slightly from me, but not enough that anyone would have suspected the tension that was billowing out of our little exchange.

            "What the hell do you want?" Gwen snapped. 

            "Gwen, right?"  Patrick smiled as if there was no hideousness.  Nice to see you again?"

            "Real pleasure."  Her face was so straight, it would have intimidated the hell out of me, Patrick did not seem to get the idea.  "You need to leave."

            "As I was just telling Ellie here, I was invited."  The smirk...

            "I am uninviting you."  If I don't say it enough, I love Gwen.

            "I am not sure if it is up to you to decide that." 

            "Well, let me clear that right up for you, asshole."  Her tone was a whisper, perfectly even, brilliant.  Patrick's smirk was unwavering, he was getting a big kick out of the whole scenario.

            I on the other hand was using every ounce of myself to keep from yelling "FIRE!" in hopes of clearing out the horror, but before I could make the move, I was shocked out of my skin when I saw Derek pop up behind him.  I unintentionally squeaked a bizarre little noise, and dropped my chicken on a stick on the ground.

            "Well, this must be the famous Coach Dixon!"  Derek gleefully announced.

            Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck.

            "And you are?"  Patrick smiled.  He knew bloody well who he was.

            "I'm Abby's dad, Derek."  My husband smiled, oblivious, and held out his hand. "I hear you have been giving my wife a run for her money this summer!"

            My terror was palpable, Gwen still had a look of ease on her face, but her hand was clenching my wrist in a death grip.

            "Well, I have certainly been trying to."  Patrick chuckled as he shook my husband’s hand.  I am relatively certain this is one of the signs of the apocalypse.

            "Derek!"  Catherine squealed from the house, the first and only time in my life I will ever be thankful for that woman to interrupt, "Can you help me with this box honey?"

            "Sure, mom!"  He called back, giving me a smile and complimentary eye roll before turning back to Patrick, "It was great to finally meet you!  I'm sure I will catch you around before the party is over!"

            With that he turned and went inside leaving Gwen, Patrick and I alone again. 

            "You need to leave, now."  Gwen reiterated.

            "I think I am going to go grab something to drink." he grinned at her, "I'll talk with you after bit, Ellie." 

            As he turned and walked towards a table set up with various beverages, Gwen kept her vice-like lock on my arm and began dragging me out of the back yard.  We ran upstairs into our bathroom, where I quickly dug the bottle of wine I had stashed under the sink, and we quickly took turns taking chugs.

            "Oh, my god, oh my god!"  I squeaked, "This is a complete disaster!"

            "That guy is a dick!" she said swallowing hard. 

            "Do you think he is going to do something?  Like say something to Derek?"  Chug, chug.

            "I would hope he isn't that stupid, I think he is just trying to scare you, make you nervous."

            "It's working!"

            We spent the next ten minutes in the bathroom debating all the possible courses of action that we could take to get Patrick the fuck out of my house, but everything we came up with would draw a scary amount of unwanted attention.  The basic plan?  That we were stuck.  Oh so very stuck.

            We headed back down to the party, and tried to keep our distance from all the evil people, namely Catherine and Patrick.  Things were going fairly well to be honest.  Abby was enjoying being the belle of the ball, clad in a pretty pink party dress that Bernard and Catherine had insisted she be bought.  They had topped it off with a little jeweled tiara, and this led Abbs to believe she was a princess, which I honestly believe she might be.  She looked so adorable, and much to my dismay, so much bigger than I feel she should be allowed to grow.  Oliver, in his little suit was of an equal royal nature.  He bounced around and enjoyed every minute of the party spectacle, also, much more grown up than I care to acknowledge.

            The party raged on, ponies were ridden, faces were drawn, expensive food was eaten.  Catherine was thrilled to go around to the individual parents and introduce herself and make sure that everyone was aware of the festivities fabulousness, and while it was annoying as hell, and I knew I would face judgment for years to come from the neighborhood mommies, I was just thankful to have her out of my hair.

            Around five, we were nearing the end of the party and Abby began to unwrap her presents.  It seemed as though there were hundreds, and Bernard was there organizing and dictating what order to open and where the gifts were to be placed once shown off to the party attendees.  There was considerable ooh-ing and ahh-ing, and lots of squealing from the children as she opened beautiful dolls, pretty dresses, a new soccer ball (from Patrick of course), a child size guitar, and so many more.  Abby, the ever gracious host was constantly reassuring her friends that they could come over and play with her new bounty.  Darn it, she was just the cutest thing. 

            In fact, her adorability was enough to distract me completely for a few short moments of the sharks circling over my head.  That was until Abby had opened her last little gift bag, and was preparing to venture off to play before all of her little friends scampered off home, when Catherine stepped up onto the stage where the band had been playing soft, yet bouncy music to accompany the gifting, and took her place in front of the microphone.

            "Hello, everyone!" she spoke chipperly, "I want to thank you all for coming to celebrate my beautiful granddaughter's special day!"  To this the crowd applauded.  "It means so much to me to be able to give this girl a proper party!"  I took that as a hit to the party I had originally planned.  "And now, as things are winding down, I would like to give Abby, my gift to her!"  Again, more clapping.  I kept imagining Bernard running around with giant "APPLAUSE" signs. 

            I stood there imagining what Catherine might have gotten for Abby.  I considered that perhaps she had actually purchased the ponies and that they were to live in our back yard.  Maybe she bought her a car, something ridiculous that she knew would piss us the hell off.  She called Abby to the stage to join her, and for some reason, had Ollie come too.

            "Alright!"  Catherine trilled, "I thought long and hard about the perfect gift for my darling granddaughter, and I have found it!  And this actually will go for both of you!"  She spoke to Ollie and Abbs.  Everyone was all smiles and began looking around for whatever was about to be wheeled out.  Derek was across the yard from Gwen and me making faces at me, happily aware of the silliness that was occurring, "And so, my sweet babies, my present is that tomorrow, you will be flying back to Connecticut with me to stay for two whole weeks!"

            Everyone erupted into the oohs again, and started up the applause once more, but I was not one of them.  I looked at Derek and he had the same look of furious shock on his face as I did.  See, this wouldn't have been as big a deal I suppose, except she seemed to have forgotten to mention to the children's parents that she was taking them to another state for two weeks.

            Catherine was treated to shouts of glee from the kids, and after much fawning, she made her way off the stage back towards the house.  Derek and I were in fast pursuit, both just a wee bit enraged.

            Once we were safely in the house out of earshot of the other partiers Derek exploded, "Mom what the hell was that!"

            "What dear?" she responded as she began tidying up the kitchen.

            "Don't what me, are you kidding?"  He was in full yell, I was still trying to find words, "You never told us about that!  You never even asked us if it was alright!"

            "It was a surprise!"  She was so cheery, like she was oblivious to the tone of his voice.  And apparently the vein that was throbbing on his temple.

            "Great, you surprise them you don't surprise us!"  He screamed.

            "Derek, honey, you seem upset!"  She cooed.

            He looked at me with eyes bulging, his mouth open, in a complete state of flabbergasted shock.  Tag, I was it.

            "Catherine, you cannot seriously tell me that you don't see why you planning to take our children to another state for two weeks without so much as mentioning it to us, is not okay!  Even you can't be that crazy!"

            Catherine turned to me, her innocent expression turned slightly dubious, "Do you really think you are in any position to tell me what is appropriate dear?"

            Well, that was a tasty punch to the gut.

            Derek, thankfully was so angry he didn't notice the hint of smile on Catherine's lips, I, however, couldn't take my eyes off of it, and she knew it.  How much did she know?  Did she know anything?  Was she bluffing?  Whatever she was doing, I wasn't about to test the waters any further.

            Derek tried to continue on with his tirade, but she flat out cut him off, and said, "Oops, looks like the band has hit a lull, I better go tell them it is almost time to wrap things up!"  And she was swishing past him, ignoring his desperate look.  He was really embracing this new backbone of his, because he was hot on her heels after her.  I stood there in the kitchen for a second, debating what to do, or what to say, and coming up blank, I decided to flee back upstairs where my hallowed bottle of wine was awaiting my return.  I hid out for a few moments, slamming down a couple of slugs of wine, and took a moment to regroup.  She couldn't have known anything, there was nothing that had happened other than her overhearing that one call, but even then, she didn't hear anything at all that would be incriminating.

            Satisfied that she was just taking a shot in the dark to see if she could wear me down, I felt composed enough to head back down to the party that I could hear was closing down.  I need to have a peephole installed on my bathroom door because perhaps it could have warned me that Patrick was on the other side, and it was going to scare the hell out of me.

            "Jesus!"  I screamed.

            "So this is where you ran off to."  He grinned.

            "You have to get out of here, you have to get out right now!"  I whispered desperately, in a full panic.

            "Ellie, come on, I want to talk to you."  He smiled softly, "You won't answer my calls."

            "Yes!"  I screeched, "And what does that tell you!  That I don't want to talk to you, Patrick, now get out!"

            "Sure you do."  He inched closer to me, "I see you have been telling your friend Gwen about us."

            Oh dear god, it was the worst thing that had ever happened, "You can't do this!  This is my house!  This is my bedroom that I sleep in with my husband!"

            "Ellie, I could hear it in your voice the other day, I can see it in your eyes now, you aren't finished with us anymore than I am."

            He moved closer still, and I felt like I was about to lose consciousness, when the bedroom door jolted open, and I nearly flew right out of my skin.  I was relieved more than I ever thought possible when it was Gwen that barreled through.

            "You!"  She yelled, "You get the fuck out of here, or I swear I will hire someone to break your skeezy knees!"

            "Okay, you really need to calm down," he said and turned to her, "This is between Ellie and I."

            "The hell it is!"  She barked back, "This is between Ellie, and her husband, get that her husband, not you, now LEAVE!"

            "Patrick, you need to go, really, you have to go!"  I pleaded, frantically.

            "I'm not leaving until you talk to me." he persisted.

            "What kind of creepy ass are you!?" Gwen continued, "You come to her kid's birthday, you talk to her husband like you aren't some piece of shit making a play for his wife, and you follow her up to her bedroom!  I mean, honestly, who does that?!"

            Right then, the world came tumbling down like a ton of bricks, landing squarely on my chest. 

            Behind Gwen, in the doorway that she had seconds ago kicked open, and in a move that will haunt us all until we die, forgotten to close, stood Catherine.  Her expression was frozen, serious, her eyes glued onto me.

            "Oh, Jesus."  whispered Gwen.

            We all stood there for a few seconds, that seemed like eons, before Catherine finally spoke.

            "Eleanor."  She said quietly, "I was coming to tell you that people are starting to leave and I thought you might want to say goodbye." 

            She stood, frozen and staring for another second before silently and slowly walking away, leaving the three of us, in no less than hell.

            I felt my knees buckling and leaned into the doorway of the bathroom for support, eyes bugging out of their sockets, stomach knotted and lodged in my chest.

            "I'm gonna go."  Patrick whispered and walked gently past Gwen, out of the room.

            "Ellie, honey, oh my god."  Was all she could say.

            I knew I needed to run downstairs after her, but I couldn't.  Had she already told Derek?  Was she waiting for me to come down so she could do it in front of everyone?  The dread was real, and too much to take, so instead, Gwen and I ushered ourselves silently back into the bathroom, where she cracked a window and we began chain smoking the pack of cigarettes she had in her back pocket.  It's funny, I had spent an awful lot of time trying to convince her to quit, but I am positive had they not been there at that very moment, I would have died.  I haven't had a cigarette since college, and it is not the kind of thing that would help my situation, but I figured that since I was drowning, that a few more bricks could only help the process along.

            We hid out as long as humanly possible.  At a certain point however, we agreed that it was time to face the music.  We headed downstairs together, Gwen never leaving my side, (again, love her, can't say it enough) and said my farewells to the rest of the guests as they made their way out.  The children were running around upstairs, content to frolic with all of Abby's new toys.  Catherine, stayed silent, emotionless even, and went about paying the caterers, tipping the band, thanking the wranglers, and never once made eye contact with me.  Derek was still fuming about the trip she had planned from our children, but as of yet, unaware of what had just gone down upstairs.  He thought that Catherine's attitude change had come about because she had finally realized the error of her ways with the gift.  If only.  I moved about in slow motion, attempting to straighten up the freshly emptied house.  It was dark out, and closing in on the children's bedtimes, things were just normal on the surface, but the tension was taking up what little oxygen that was left to breathe.

            After she had sent off the party staff, Catherine quietly informed us that she was going to go upstairs and pack for her flight home tomorrow.  No one had yet told the children about the hullaballoo surrounding their supposed trip to Connecticut, and we figured that we would crush them in the morning, at least allowing them a pleasant end to the festive day.  I wish I had been as lucky.

            Derek offered to put the kids to bed, saying I looked like I needed a few minutes to breathe.  All I could think was how it was coming.  That woman would come downstairs, blow the lid off my entire summer's mistakes, and that him offering to put Abby and Ollie to bed would be the last kind thing he would say to me.  Gwen was disarmingly quiet, slowly moving through the house, mindlessly picking things up, but giving me periodic looks of hope. 

            Once Derek had gone upstairs with the kids, I moped outside with Gwen, and took a seat on the bench on the far end of the yard away from the house. 

            "Honey, it's going to be okay."  She sighed and rubbed my hand, “Really, it will all work out."

            "I really messed things up, Gwen."  I half whimpered, fighting tears, "I can't believe I let things get like this."

            "You can't do that Elle."  She encouraged, "You didn't mess this up by yourself.  Derek made mistakes too."

            "Yeah, but I didn't have to make my own.  I can't believe I did this."

            "Do you want me to stay here with you tonight?"  My Gwen, always a friend.

            "No," I inhaled sharply, "But you better hang around in case I need to ride with you to the hotel, you know, after being kicked out of my house for being a huge slut."

            "He's not going to-" she started, but stopped short when we both looked up at the same time and saw Catherine standing in front of us.

            "Gwen, would you excuse us please." she spoke, "I would like to speak with my daughter in law privately."

            Gwen looked at me, offering support, but I nodded her off.  It was time to deal with this.

            "I'll be right inside, babe."  She said as she gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder before heading to the house.

            Catherine silently stood in front of me, staring at the ground in front of my shoes.  The silence was heinous.  I was deliriously wishing she would just start yelling.  I couldn't take it anymore.

            "Okay, you know what, just get it over with." I snapped, "Just rip off the damn Band-aid!"  I hopped up in front of her, "Come on, I know you saw what happened, I know you have been waiting for something like this for years!  So let's go!  Tell me how horrible I am, tell me how Derek is going to leave me, tell me how he never should have married the likes of me!"  I was nearing hysterics, but I didn't care.  "But you know what, before you get to have your satisfaction, I get to have some too!"  I was going down swinging, "You are a horrible person!  You have been nothing but evil to me since the moment we met!  You have belittled me in front of my children, you have talked down to me like I was useless, you have put a strain on our marriage that no one could ever pull back from!  You are a hateful, vindictive, judgmental, small minded, upper crust bitch who thinks that she knows what is best for her son, when you don't even know anything about him!  When do you ever call just to ask how his life is going?  When have you ever come to see him or the kids without bringing a car full of expensive crap trying to buy their attention and love?  When have you ever taken your head out of your ass for even two seconds to see that all you do is bring drama and stress with you by making everyone around you miserable with your constant vendetta to prove that I am the scum of the Earth!?"  I was in the middle of a wicked case of verbal diarrhea.  "You know what, I may have screwed up, I may have made a terrible mistake, but you never even gave me a chance to do right in your eyes.  Nothing I have ever done has been good enough, nothing I have ever said has been enough.  And just because you have never cared enough to see it, it does not change the fact that I love your son, I love him, and I love my family, and I never meant to hurt anyone.  Not like you, whose sole purpose in life seems to be making miserable the lives of every single person you have ever come into contact!"

            I held my stance in front of her, panting, my chest heaving up and down, suddenly lighter than it had been in years.  I would assume it is never a good idea to antagonize and attack the person who has life crushing dirt on you, but that doesn't change how damn good it feels to finally get to say all the things you have been biting back for years.

            "Are you finished now?"  She finally spoke, quietly.

            After thinking for a moment as to whether or not I had gotten it all out, I decided that I was satisfied, and was ready to let it come back my way.  "Yeah, I'm done.  So go for it."

            She walked slowly past me and very gently sat herself down on the bench that I had just vacated.  She folded her hands into her lap and took a deep breath.

            "Ellie," she began.  I braced myself. "You are right."

            Wait, what?

            "I'm sorry, crazy in law say what?"

            "I said you are right."  She said, her tone somber, "You are right about everything.  I have been horrible to you.  The entire time.  I was determined to hate you the second I met you."

            I gave my head a nice hard shake.  Nope, still there.

            "Why?"  I exclaimed, "Why would you do something like that?"

            "Ellie, honey, sit down."  She sighed, "I want to tell you something."

            I hesitated for a moment, wondering if I was falling into a trap of some sort.  She had never once called me honey without it being accompanied by a mocking tone.  I think the curiosity and shock got the best of me, for I did what I was asked and took a seat next to her.

            "Ellie,” she started, "You remind me an awful lot of myself when I was young.  Now, you'd think that would make me like you more, wouldn't you?"  I was just trying to figure out what we could have ever had in common...  "And it would have, except for one small difference."

            "What is it?"  I asked, genuinely awaiting the answer.

            "It was how Derek talked about you." she whispered, "How he talked to you.  How he looked at you.  How excited he would get when you would call."

            "Why would that upset you?"  I inquired, "Isn't it a good thing when they actually like the person they are with?"

            "Yes it is."  she smiled softly, "But you see, Ellie, it killed me that he would behave that way towards you, because no one has ever behaved that way about me."

            What?

            "Derek has always felt about you the way that I always hoped Richard would about me."  Holy crap.  "If he would have had half the enthusiasm Derek had about you, that would have been enough, but he never did.  We got married because we were supposed to, because we knew that on paper, we were perfect together.  We thought we loved each other, and we do I suppose, but we were never in love with each other."

            "How is that possible?"  I was completely taken aback, "You have been married for a million years!"

            "Richard and I haven't slept in the same bedroom since Derek moved out."

            Whoa.

            "We barely speak.  It is always very formal, and we make a wonderful showing at parties, but at home, it is very cold, and very lonely.  Not like what you have here.  That is why I like staying with you when I visit.  It feels the way I wish my own home had felt, even for a day.  But I was never able to make it happen the way you seem to be able to."

            "I don't understand any of this..."  I gasped.

            "I hated you because you have what I never will, and it is the only thing I have ever wanted."  My head was going to explode, "And now, here we are, and it seems like things are not going the way they should, are they?"  I nodded silently, "And I have to say that I feel very much responsible."

            "What?!"

            "It can't have been easy for you two all these years, I know that I have put a lot of tension and pressure on the two of you, and that was wrong of me." 

            Seriously, I felt like I was on a hidden camera show, and people were about to jump out and say "SURPRISE!"  And that Patrick was an actor hired to cause drama and get good ratings, and that this was the heartfelt season finale or something.

            "Whatever has happened between you and that man was wrong.  I don't think you did anything horrible, but I know that you know you have made a mistake." she continued, "But I have made a mistake too.  And now I am sitting here, kicking myself inside, thinking that my behavior has somehow lead to whatever problems you and Derek are having."  Her words cracked and she began to cry, "And for that I am so sorry.  I am so ashamed in myself that I behaved with such pettiness for so many years, and now, the thought of my son losing the thing that made him walk around with that look on his face, with that extra spring in his step when he met you, I, well, I would never be able to forgive myself.  And I know my son better than you think, and I would be willing to bet that he has made a few choice errors of his own.  But Ellie, I can't let you stop here.  I can't let the two of you go on, with my nasty cloud hanging over you anymore.  Whatever happened, has happened, and you have my word that nothing will come from me about it.  But I want you to promise me something."

            "What?"  I swallowed hard.

            "I want you to promise me that you will forgive him for my poor judgment, and that you will try to start over without this all hanging over the two of you.  Promise me that when you look at him from now on, that you won't see my mistakes surrounding him.  Promise me that you will fight harder to keep a good marriage harder than I fought to find my own happiness."  Her tears fell freely, "Can you promise me that, Ellie?  Can you give me your word?"

            I sat there, turned just enough to see her face, and I held my breath.  There she was, my most feared nemesis, sitting before me, crying, her always perfectly applied makeup running down her cheeks, smudged with salty tears.  Her perfect posture replaced by heavy shoulders, weighted down my guilt, and decades of unhappy marriage.  For the first time since had laid eyes on Catherine Donahue, she wasn't scary.  She was a fragile, normal person, a broken person, who instead of a cold stone, had proven that there was a beating heart in her chest.  I felt like I was watching the scene in the movie where the Grinch’s heart grew three sizes.

            "Alright, Catherine."  I spoke, "Alright.  I promise."

            "I am so sorry for all the pain I have caused you.  I really, truly am." she sobbed, "And you are a much bigger person than I am for even giving me a chance to explain all this, Ellie."

            I looked at her, and my heart ached.  I felt terrible for her, felt sorry.  I had always just assumed she was an evil person, it never occurred to me that she would have a life of unhappiness behind her barbs and claws.  And so I did what I would do for anyone in that vulnerable a state, in that raw a place. 

            I hugged her.  Tightly, and sincerely.  And she held me back, breathing deep to catch her breath.

            I looked over my shoulder and saw Derek and Gwen standing at the back window, looking out on the two normally embattled women, instead embracing under the stars, and their collective jaws were dropped straight down to the floor.

 

 

 

           

 

 

 

 

 

            I am still in total awe of what happened yesterday. 

            Gwen went back to the hotel, promising to meet me for dinner before her flight home.  Derek was completely speechless even up until we went to bed together, only finally responding when I told him I thought it was a great idea for the kids to go to stay with Catherine for the two weeks.  It would be a wonderful experience for them, and I mentioned that I bet she would be so happy to show her precious grandkids off.  Perhaps it was the lingering shock of seeing her and me holding each other, or witnessing his mother and her tears, or maybe it was just the calm that had settled over the house, but whatever the cause, he agreed without hesitation.  I never told him what she and I talked about, but assured him it was long overdue, and a good thing.  I could see he was engulfed in curiosity, but he let it go, and just enjoyed the peace that had finally come.

            Early this morning, we got the kids up and began packing for their trip to grandmas.  Catherine woke up early and made breakfast for us all, and she and I walked around, occasionally giving each other a knowing glance, never once letting anyone else in on our mutual secret.

            Right after lunch, we drove Catherine and the kids to the airport, armed with as much luggage as the airlines would allow, and sent them all on their way.  As we said our goodbyes, and gave our babies a somewhat tearful goodbye.  It would be the first time they would be away from us for more than a few days, but as they had shown us the day before, they were growing up, albeit much too quickly for our liking, they were, and they were ready.

            Before they all boarded the plane, as Derek joked around with them, and Abby and Ollie spoke to him a mile a minute about their excitement of riding on a big plane, Catherine came over and gave me a tight squeeze.  Just before she pulled away, she paused, and whispered in my ear, "I love you, sweetie."

            "I love you too, Catherine."

            And you know what?

            I really meant it.